Connexion  •  M’enregistrer

Elections aux Etats-Unis : intervention de Sa Majesté Elizabeth II


Entrez dans le bar du forum et parlez nous de ce qui vous irrite, vous révolte ou vous amuse au gré de l'actualité et de votre humeur.
Pour parler de tout et de rien mais toujours dans le respect et la courtoisie, c'est dans le bar !

Elections aux Etats-Unis : intervention de Sa Majesté Elizabeth II

Nouveau message Post Numéro: 1  Nouveau message de iffig  Nouveau message 16 Sep 2016, 08:04

Une occasion de réviser son anglais ..... ::mortderire::

Début du message-Début du message-Début du message-Début du message-Début du message-Début du message-Début du message-Début du message.


A MESSAGE FROM H.M. THE QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states,

The R.H. Theresa May, P.M. will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
-----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
-------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
-------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
---------------------
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
---------------------
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
--------------------
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
-----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!


Fin du message-fin du message--fin du message-fin du message--fin du message-fin du message--fin du message-fin du message--fin du message.
Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.

modérateur
modérateur

Avatar de l’utilisateur
 
Messages: 22408
Inscription: 13 Jan 2013, 11:18
Région: Savoie
Pays: France

Voir le Blog de iffig : cliquez ici


Re: Elections aux Etats-Unis : intervention de Sa Majesté Elizabeth II

Nouveau message Post Numéro: 2  Nouveau message de frontovik 14  Nouveau message 16 Sep 2016, 08:50

Excellent!!!
Merci pour ce partage. :-):-):-)
"Je ne vous apporte pas la liberté, je l'ai trouvée ici, parmi vous". Skënderbeg.

modérateur
modérateur

Avatar de l’utilisateur
 
Messages: 3704
Inscription: 24 Oct 2005, 18:44
Localisation: Lisieux.
Région: Normandie subséquanaise
Pays: France

Voir le Blog de frontovik 14 : cliquez ici


Re: Elections aux Etats-Unis : intervention de Sa Majesté Elizabeth II

Nouveau message Post Numéro: 3  Nouveau message de GBW067  Nouveau message 16 Sep 2016, 09:41

::mortderire::
Dan
_______________________________________________________________
Fais ce que dois, advienne que pourra

Ma bibliothèque (en cours de saisie)

vétéran
vétéran

Avatar de l’utilisateur
 
Messages: 1359
Inscription: 11 Juil 2012, 22:04
Région: Hainaut
Pays: Belgique

Voir le Blog de GBW067 : cliquez ici


Re: Elections aux Etats-Unis : intervention de Sa Majesté Elizabeth II

Nouveau message Post Numéro: 4  Nouveau message de foxbat  Nouveau message 16 Sep 2016, 10:12

Tordant!
Si Lafayette se réincarnait, je suggère de le kidnapper avant qu'il ne franchisse l'Océan!

First Lieutenant
First Lieutenant

Avatar de l’utilisateur
 
Messages: 166
Inscription: 20 Mar 2015, 18:57
Région: Gascogne
Pays: France

Voir le Blog de foxbat : cliquez ici


Re: Elections aux Etats-Unis :

Nouveau message Post Numéro: 5  Nouveau message de Dog Red  Nouveau message 16 Sep 2016, 11:11

Ha! Voilà!
La perfide Albion abat ses cartes ! Voilà pourquoi le Brexit a été voté !
Il ne reste qu'à s'incliner devant un tel sens de la stratégie !
::ok je sors::
"Rends toi compte ! Ils m'ont donné 18 cartouches pour partir faire la guerre !"
Roger W. 2e Régiment de Chasseurs à pied
Evocation du 10 mai 1940

Hommage lui soit rendu, à lui et à ses pairs, jetés dans la fournaise avec inconséquence.

Administrateur
Administrateur

Avatar de l’utilisateur
 
Messages: 12908
Inscription: 11 Mar 2014, 22:31
Région: Hainaut
Pays: Belgique

Voir le Blog de Dog Red : cliquez ici


Re: Elections aux Etats-Unis : intervention de Sa Majesté Elizabeth II

Nouveau message Post Numéro: 6  Nouveau message de Prosper Vandenbroucke  Nouveau message 16 Sep 2016, 14:22

::mortderire:: ::mortderire:: ::mortderire:: ::mortderire:: Ok ::ok je sors::
L'Union fait la force -- Eendracht maakt macht

Image
http://www.freebelgians.be

Administrateur Principal
Administrateur Principal

Avatar de l’utilisateur
 
Messages: 81522
Inscription: 02 Fév 2003, 20:09
Localisation: Braine le Comte - Belgique
Région: Hainaut
Pays: Belgique

Voir le Blog de Prosper Vandenbroucke : cliquez ici



Connexion  •  M’enregistrer

Retourner vers LE BAR DU FORUM




  • SUR LE MEME THEME DANS LE FORUM ...
    Réponses
    Vus
    Dernier message
 
  ► Les 10 Derniers Posts du jour Date Auteur
    dans:  Occupation de la Lozère 
Aujourd’hui, 01:24
par: Loïc 
    dans:  LE QUIZ MATÉRIELS ET VÉHICULES - SUITE - 18 
Hier, 23:25
par: Prosper Vandenbroucke 
    dans:  LE QUIZ HISTOIRE - SUITE - 22 
Hier, 23:13
par: Prosper Vandenbroucke 
    dans:  Panzerkampfwagen IV et Pak 40 Normandie 
Hier, 23:07
par: alfa1965 
    dans:  pas loin de L' ITALIE 
Hier, 22:17
par: alfa1965 
    dans:  MESSERSCHMITT 109 F.4 AZ MODEL 1:72 
Hier, 21:07
par: kfranc01 
    dans:  QUIZZ AVIATION - SUITE 19 
Hier, 18:15
par: Prosper Vandenbroucke 
    dans:  [DU 30 sept au 31 octobre 2020] et dans le cadre du 80°anniv: Le Ghetto de Varsovie 
Hier, 17:58
par: Prosper Vandenbroucke 
    dans:  201e RI - 1940 
Hier, 16:27
par: lightman 
    dans:  poste de commandement refait a l'origine en haute normandie 
Hier, 15:52
par: jobunker 

Qui est en ligne

Utilisateurs parcourant ce forum: Semantic Visions et 30 invités


Scroll